Unanswered Questions

He never thought of tomorrow while reading her replies, he always lived the moment when he received any text of her. I can't figure it out what he gained from that, but it was his thing so nobody can perceive it other than him. Regardless of anything, he was happy for a while... But his happiness didn't last for long, again he was all alone with his of thoughts maintaining distance and convincing him own self to move back. Actually these are the things I know, how many times he thought of moving back, but exactly how many times he had such thoughts, the really count is still with Ishan and I am pretty sure it is a big number. He was thinking to propose her for a moment and stepping back in another, don't know, why?  Calendar pages were turning and his stifling continued when he came home due to pandemic. He came a week early. When I came after a week, he told me all these things and I started abusing him for behaving like a imbecile. But as a friend, Chetan and I, cheered h...

 Ishan felt really sad and a bit frustrated at the same time. Since he started liking her, he never dared to maintain even an eye contact with her and the reason for that might be his fear, how she will react to this. But for the first time, he made an attempt to go close to his love, to have word with her, but to Ishan, it looked like, she denied him for that and this thing was breaking him like hell.  He was at unrest so on same day, he text her. He asked, why she moved away from the bench when he was about to approach her? Is there something bothering her? He was waiting for her reply and he got it within a couple of hours. She replied that it wasn't her work bench where Ishan was heading, she moved to her working place only. Though she was genuine in her context, Ishan wasn't able to digest this as he wanted to talk with her anyhow(even a stud becomes moron in this journey of love)... He again started thinking in a track where pain and suffering were waiting for him. Movin...

In the period of vacation, we three met many times, sharing the memories, going nostalgic, these are the things we did mostly. Just fun things.. After almost three weeks vacation ended and we were prepared to go back to our respective college. Chetan and Ishan to their college and here I was ready to go mine. Still, at this point also, I was not conscious that Ishan is really serious for her. Now Ishan wanted to confess his immense love to her. How passionate he is and how deeply he wants her, not as a girlfriend but as a lifelong companion!  He had so much to say, so much to feel with him, but now he wanted to know if she feels the same. Does she holds the similar deepness in her emotions towards him( if there are any). Ishan and Chetan went to join next semester in college on time. They started their academic work for that semester with good concentration as it was their last semester. Ishan found out that she hasn't come to college till then.  On one fine day, almost after ...

In continuation of his thoughts in the night, he looked at clock to see it is 4 AM in the morning, he woke up from the bed, came out of his room, drank some water while gasping and again moved back to the room to pick up his thoughts where he paused. He started thinking again, after that conversation with Nidhi, how he realized his distress. Ishan then discerned, what he thought as a cure of his pity is indeed his misery. He gained the cognizance of the fact, how deeply he is in love with her, that his heart refused to start any emotional bond with someone else. He started connecting the dots, how he ignored this beautiful feeling which is more than love and the beautiful girls because of whom he was able to feel this since the beginning.  Internship was over and then the time came when he needed to join the college after vacations. He joined the college after spending merely a week after his internship. In that one week too, he was completely indulged in her thoughts, how he saw h...

Again he indulged in the thought, and started thinking about the time when he went to an internship, with some of his college mates, mostly his classmates, after exams. Though he wanted to have conversation with her but, he refrained himself from doing so, at the same time he started telling his mind that it is nothing more than physical attraction. He started thinking like he has seen another marvelous and beautiful thing made by creator and not everything created by almighty can be brought to our life. Even he wasn't aware, these forceful thoughts were giving him pain and misery only. But he continued this... Ishan was trying to take a deep dive in the work of internship so that he can feel normal. After twenty days or so, another batch of interns joined there, Ishan was not much interested about these things happening at his surrounding. He never used to talk with people there unless it is unavoidable. Waking up everyday, doing the work assigned, try to have a sleep, that's ...

"Hey idiot, Are you out of your senses? What are you talking man?" Chetan continued, "At an early age,why are you talking like you have already grown up, you need to complete your studies, pursue the career, make yourself stable. Instead of this why are you talking absurd? Do you think she will accept this forever together proposal of yours if you are jobless? Obviously no dude, she won't, in fact, no one will." Ishan was listening Chetan's words silently as I was watching both of them alternately.  Chetan started his rapid fire again, after a minute,"And also,why don't you feel like having a cool batchelor life and enjoyment? Do you really want to get engaged in such a deep n mature relationship called marriage so early in your life?" Though Chetan was right practically, but I was sure, Ishan would not hamper his career because of this. I know him since years, he has always kept academics and personal issues side by side, he never mixed it and...

Somehow he survived those 3 hours in the exam hall,reconciling between what he prepared since days to vomit on answer sheet and what he experienced just before entering in the room. And he did it to an extent. As a friend,I always admired this quality of Ishan, managing things better when it needed to be. His affection and love for her started way before this event. When he told me first time,I thought,it would be a mere physical attraction,he will overcome it in a fortnight or so,but I was wrong... After the exam on that day,he asked her(although virtually),how was the exam?and got normal reply,but still he was not settled with what he experienced.   It wasn't first time when he text her, neither her reply. Still, texting her always made him anxious and fumbling,like he is facing a big challenge. I didn't get it,why he was afraid of this thing so much. He used to wait for her answer keenly,as far as I know, replies never contain anything more than a word or two. Chetan and I ...

   Just a day after his birthday Ishan had his paper of end semester exam, the subject which he considered tough. That's why he didn't celebrate his birthday properly and wrapped up wishing calls shortly a day before,on his birthday. He took charge of his study quite seriously.  On the day of exam, around at 8:15 in the morning, he left his room with his roommate Chetan and reached the canteen to have breakfast, that too, with mind full of how will the exam conclude. All friends left canteen, Ishaan too, and they started walking towards main building. Ishan was around 20mtrs away from the college structure and 10 mtrs away from the library when he saw her, standing there, just before the library, with her friends, as usual, wearing college uniform and like everytime, without any change n fault Ishan started trembling. Wearing a blue jeans and a checks shirt, his shyness and state of mind was palpable to nobody but his friend Chetan and her. Due to his trembling, he n...